


Crimson

by NavajoLovesDestiel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Drag, Fluff, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Smut, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, cross dressing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-13
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-10-18 10:42:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 15,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10615230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NavajoLovesDestiel/pseuds/NavajoLovesDestiel
Summary: When Charlie takes Dean to a drag show, he never dreamed he'd meet the love of his life performing.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for my banner goes to emmatheslayer  
> and thanks to my editor, crowleyhasfeels

 

 

Dean could not believe he let Charlie talk him into going to a drag show. He sat, sipping his beer and making smart remarks under his breath about the get-ups and how phony they looked. Charlie was shushing him constantly.  
  
Dean sat sullenly. Then the announcer came out and said, “Now the diva you’ve all been waiting for… the amazing Crimson.” The crowd went wild. Dean sat up, pretending to be interested.   
  
But when the spotlight lit up a circle of light, Dean sat up and honestly took interest.   
  
There was a gorgeous woman… well… man, but anyway, he was gorgeous. He had messy black hair, perfect make-up, unlike the over-done ones that preceded him, and beautiful crimson-colored lips.   
  
He was wearing a black sequined dress that was split up the side all the way to his hips. One perfect leg was showing through the slit, perfect in crimson-colored hose and a black and silver high heel. His breasts, even though Dean knew they were fake, were perfect; also unlike the ones before that looked like they had balloons stuffed in their clothes.

 

He stepped up to the mike and began to lip-sync Can’t Help Lovin That Man of Mine perfectly. Dean was transfixed. He hung on every word and cheered loudly at the end. Charlie was staring at him with a smile.   


“Finally see someone you like, huh?”

 

Dean huffed at her to shut up. But his mind was racing. He really wanted to meet Crimson. Well. not her really, the man behind her.

 

At the end of the show, everyone came back out on stage and took a bow. Then they headed back towards the dressing area. Dean walked briskly towards the area, but his way was blocked by a large man.   
  
“Not so fast cowboy. Where do you think you’re going?”

 

Dean took a breath and admitted, “Uh, I was hoping to talk with Crimson for a moment?”

 

“You and every other guy who comes in here,” the guy laughed. “Wait a minute.”

 

He turned and went into the back. Dean heard him say, “Crimson! There’s a guy here wants to talk to you.” There was a muffled response. The guy looked back at Dean and said, “Yeah, he’s pretty good looking.” There was a laugh and the guy came back to Dean.  
  
“Go on back. He’ll see you.”

 

Dean walked towards the door that the guy had talked through. He started to get a little nervous. He had no idea what to expect. He stopped, knocked lightly on the door and heard a “Come in” in a gravelly voice that gave him chills. It was completely different than what he had expected.

 

He opened the door and walked into a small dressing room where he was greeted by the sight of a man, naked from the waist up. From the waist down, he wore lacy panties, a garter belt and thigh high crimson stockings. He was sitting in a chair with one leg extended, taking off the stocking. Dean was transfixed.   
  
The guy looked Dean up and down. “Well, Marcel didn’t do you justice. You _are_ a pretty thing.” Dean blushed and the guy smiled. “Shy, too? How adorable.” He put the other leg in the air and removed that stocking as well. Dean’s tongue was stuck to the roof of his mouth. The guy smiled bigger and said, “So, what’s your name, cowboy?”

 

“Uh, Dean… I’m um...” Dean stuttered, “Dean Winchester.”

 

The guy stood up and walked to Dean. He extended his hand for a shake and said, “I’m Castiel ...  Novak. Nice to meet you.”

 

Dean shook his hand, holding on just a little too long. Castiel took his hand back and grinned. He then took off the garter belt and tossed it aside.

 

“Excuse me, Dean, while I untuck.” Dean just shook his head, having no idea what that meant. Castiel turned and went behind a screen. Dean heard the unmistakable sound of tape being torn off, then a loud sigh. Castiel came back out and said, “What a fucking relief.”  
  
Dean couldn’t help himself. His eyes wandered down, noticing Castiel’s now very impressive bulge in his panties. Dean’s eyes took in the trail of soft hair that went from his navel down into his panties before he drug his eyes back up.

 

Castiel still had his makeup on, and he sat down at the dressing table and smeared cold cream all over his face. He began to wipe it off  and his face finally emerged. Dean thought he was gorgeous.

 

Makeup off, Castiel stood up and walked to a pile of clothes that laid on a chair. He chose a pair of jeans and pulled them on over the panties. He chose a T-shirt that said something about ‘The Walking Dead’. Then he turned back to Dean.  
  
“That’s better. Now, Dean, what can I do for you?”

 

Dean finally found his voice. “Uh, have you eaten? May I take you to dinner?”

 

Castiel grinned broadly. “Well, you’re bold. But what the fuck, I like to eat. Yeah, take me to dinner, Dean.”

 

Dean drove them to a little diner he really liked. The food was good and the atmosphere friendly. They got a booth and ordered. Then Castiel put his chin on his hand and looked at Dean.

 

“So, Dean, tell me about yourself.” They chatted through the meal. It wasn’t lost on Dean that Castiel managed to get him to talk a lot about himself, but gave very little information in return.  
  
Dean’s mind kept wandering back to those panties under Castiel’s jeans. He longed to get a closer look. As if he were reading Dean’s mind. Castiel suddenly said, “You’re thinking about my panties, aren’t you?”

 

Dean just nodded.  
  
Castiel looked at him, amused. “Dean, take me home with you.”

 

Dean almost sprained his wrist getting his wallet out of his pocket and paying for the meal. He hurried Castiel to his car and drove home. They were barely through the door and Castiel was on him. He backed Dean against the wall and kissed him passionately, pushing his thigh between Dean’s legs; Dean moaned into Castiel's mouth.

 

There was a trail of clothes leading to the bedroom and Castiel stood wearing only the panties. His cock was hard and peeked up above the waistband, dripping a trail of pre cum onto the front of the silk. Dean got on his knees in front of Castiel and very slowly pulled the panties down just enough that his cock sprang out. Dean had his mouth on it in an instant.

 

Castiel stopped him. “I want to fuck you, Dean. Can I fuck you? I want to cum inside you, want to fill you up and make you need me… make you want me and only me.”

 

Dean could only nod.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Dean woke up after the most amazing night of sex he’d ever had… to an empty bed. There was no sign of Castiel anywhere; It was like he was never there. Dean felt let down. He really had thought they had made a connection, that this was more than just a one-night stand.

 

Sighing, he fixed coffee and started his day. It was Sunday, his day to wash clothes and clean. He really didn’t feel like doing a damn thing, though. He kicked himself for not getting a phone number for Castiel; He really did expect him to be here still. 

 

Sipping his coffee, Dean fired up his laptop and found an ad for the club. He found out that it was only open on Wednesday nights, as well as Friday and Saturday. He couldn’t find anything on Castiel anywhere, but there was a Facebook page for Crimson.

 

It had photos of her and the page was filled with men’s comments, most of them coming on to her. She never answered a single one, and there was no personal information of any kind. 

 

Dean could see that he was just going to have to wait until Wednesday and go back to the club. He just hoped that Castiel would go out with him again. He could clearly see he was hooked.

 

At work, Dean struggled not to think about Castiel all the time. He was hurt that Castiel left without a word in the middle of the night. He wanted an explanation, he wanted Castiel to go out with him again, he wanted…. Fuck! His mind was like a hamster wheel.

 

After what seemed like weeks, it was Wednesday. Dean dressed carefully, wanting to look good but casual. He strolled into the club and took a seat near the front. He waited patiently while the other performers each did their thing. And he waited. Crimson never appeared.

 

He went to the bouncer, Marcel. “Hey, what happened to Crimson?”

 

Marcel grinned. “She don’t work Wednesdays. You gotta come back on Friday night. Got to you, did she?”

 

Dean just grunted and left. He beat his fists on the steering wheel, then started up the Impala and drove home. 

 

The rest of the week was sheer torture. Dean was out of sorts and short with employees, most of them grumbling about, ‘what crawled up his ass and died?’ Dean didn’t give a fuck. He was frustrated and angry and sad all at the same time.

 

When Friday finally arrived, Dean dressed carefully again and then made his way to the club. He took a table right in front, ordered a beer and sat back with an ankle crossed over the other leg. He sipped the beer and waited.

 

At last, the announcer introduced Crimson. The stage was black and then the spotlight came on. Crimson stood with her back to the crowd. She was wearing a Catholic schoolgirl outfit, with a pleated skirt that just barely cleared her ass. Below hung garters attached to nothing. She had white stockings that came just above her knees with blood red bows at the top. Dean took a huge breath. His cock moved in his jeans. He leaned forward.

 

Music began and she turned around. The song was perfect.

 

_ I'm a bad girl _

_ Just as bad as I can be _

_ Yes, I'm a bad girl _

_ Just as bad as I can be _

_ I don't know what's the matter _

_ Trouble always follows me _

 

_ I killed myself a black cat _

_ Just the night before _

_ Spread the little woofie dust _

_ All around my door _

_ Hoping I'd chase some evil away _

_ But when the dawn appeared _

_ I had the devil to pay _

_ I'm just bad girl _

_ But Lord knows I don't mean to be _

 

_ You told me lots of stories _

_ Said that you'd be good _

_ But I just found out Daddy that you _

_ Wouldn't if you could _

_ I'm tired of your jiving _

_ Don't want you anymore _

_ My doors wide open and it _

_ Means you got to go _

_ I've been bad girl _

_ Lord knows I didn't mean to be _

 

_ You were meant for me _

_ Since it had to be _

_ Well we'll both be just plain bad _

 

_ I'm a bad girl _

 

The spotlight went off and the place went wild. Dean, having had a hardon, had to wait for it to go down before he made his way to the dressing area. 

 

Again, Marcel tried to stop him. Dean stood up to his full height, which was a good three inches taller than Marcel.

 

“Get out of my way.” Dean glared at him and Marcel stepped aside.

 

Dean walked to Castiel’s dressing room door and knocked. He heard, “Come in” before he pushed the door open and stepped inside. 

 

Castiel sat at his dressing table, still fully dressed in his costume. He looked at Dean with an odd look on his face; Dean couldn’t tell if it was fear or something else.

 

“Dean…” He trailed off.

 

“Cas, why did you take off on me?” Dean wanted an explanation. 

 

Cas looked away. “I thought it was just a one night stand. Mornings are so awkward…”

 

Dean walked up to Cas. “It wasn’t just a one night stand to me. It meant something. I thought it meant something to you, too.” 

 

“It did. It did mean something to me. I just thought it meant more to me than you.”

 

“How can you say that?” Dean walked up to Cas and pulled him in a kiss. Cas kissed back, needy and wet  Dean was hard again in an instant. Cas ground against him.

 

“Hold up, hold up.”  Cas held up a hand. He walked to the door and locked it. Then he led Dean to the couch and pushed him down. He pulled off his panties and tossed them aside. He straddled Dean’s hips and kissed him… forcing his mouth open for his tongue. 

 

Cas reached for lube and lubed his hand up. He slid two fingers into Dean’s anus and didn’t stop until he was palm deep. Dean hissed at the burn but he loved it as well. Cas scissored him open, then lubed up his cock.

 

“I’m gonna fuck you until you can’t walk tomorrow. “ It was not lost on Dean that he was about to be fucked by a man wearing a Catholic schoolgirl’s outfit. 

 


	3. Chapter 3

Dean lifted his legs to his chest. Cas produced lube from somewhere and lubed up his fingers and pushed two in Dean. Dean grunted, but it felt wonderful. Cas bent over and kissed him again, still moving his fingers around in Dean. 

Dean was so ready. “Please Cas… fuck me.”

Cas yanked his fingers out and grabbed his dick. He pressed it to Dean’s anus, then breached the ring of muscle and penetrated Dean. 

“Oh god, Cas, it feels so good…”

Cas slid all the way in, before he pulled back to where just the head was inside Dean and then plunged back in. Dean gasped and met the thrust. They established a rhythm that was hard, as they both desperately needed it. Cas’ skirt brushed against Dean’s cock with every thrust, which was an interesting sensation for sure.

Dean was completely lost in the sensations. The experience of Cas fuckng him, making those little sounds and the look on his face… it was all surreal and amazing. He felt things he didn’t understand. He felt closer to this man than to people he had known for years. 

“Cas… Cas…” He heard himself from far away, intense and needy; emotions that were completely foreign to him. 

They were panting and gasping, their chests flush and their bodies slapping together in an erotic and filthy way. Their hands were intertwined on the couch, grasping at each other. The outside world ceased to exist. It was just the two of them and where they were, joined together.

Cas was moaning and every once in awhile saying Dean’s name. They fit together so perfectly. Dean felt himself beginning to cum. He grabbed his cock and ran his hand up and down the shaft just a couple of times and came with a shout. He tightened up on Cas’ cock so much that it hurt a little.

Cas continued to thrust in and then he gasped that he was coming too. Dean felt Cas fill him with warm cum and it was wonderful. Cas thrust through his orgasm and when he pulled out, cum rolled back out of Dean’s ass and over his thighs.

“Best sex I ever had with a dude in a schoolgirl’s outfit,” Dean smiled as they lay there panting; trying to catch their breath. This elicited a chuckle from Cas. 

Cas grabbed a shirt, cleaned them up, and then stripped. Dean pulled his pants back on and watched Cas change clothes. He grabbed Dean by the hand and said, “Let’s get out of here.”

Dean led Cas out of the club and to his car. When they were both in, Dean asked where Cas wanted to go. Cas smiled and said, “Your place?” Dean fired up the car and took him home.

They barely got inside when Cas was on Dean again. Dean accepted the kisses, but then pulled away.

“As much as I want round two, Cas, I want to talk first.”

Cas stopped and sighed. “Okay. Dean, what do you want to talk about?”

Dean smiled. “You, dude. I want to know about you. I don’t know anything about you.”

Cas huffed.”Really? You want a life history now? I want to fuck you into the mattress and you want to know more about me?”

Dean just nodded and sat on the couch, looking up at Cas. Cas shook his head and sat down next to him.

“What do you want to know?”

Dean took a breath and asked, “What do you do the rest of the week? When you’re not performing?”

Cas looked away. “It’s boring, Dean. I don’t want to talk about it.”

Dean was insistent. “Cas, come on. I like you. I want to know about you; the real you.”

Cas looked at him. “No, you don’t. You are attracted to Crimson, not me. I’ve been here before. You think I’m interesting but I’m not. You think I dress like that all week? I don’t. Just get over it, Dean, I’m NOT Crimson!”

Dean was shocked by the anger in Cas’ voice. “Cas. it’s not like that. Sure, I was attracted to Crimson at first, but I slept with Cas. I want to get to know you, not Crimson. I like you. What can I say to convince you?”

Cas just stared at him. After a bit, he said, “Really? Dean, I’m a librarian. A boring, plain old librarian. I catalogue books all day. I live alone with a cat. I don’t date. No one wants to date me. I’m considered weird and nerdy. Crimson is my alter-ego, my only outlet. Other than that, I’m just boring.”

Dean was taken aback. Cas, boring? Nerdy? This firecracker was definitely not boring. “Cas, I want to get to know the librarian. I don’t think he’s weird, just misunderstood. Please, let me take you out on a date. Let me get to know the real you. I want to get to know you.”

Cas had tears in his eyes and one slipped down his cheek. Dean wiped it away. “Spend the night with me. Let me fix you breakfast in the morning. Let me take you home and see where you live. Please…”

Cas nodded.

Dean stood up and took Cas by the hand. Cas stood up and Dean led him to the bedroom. He stripped Cas and then took his own clothes off. He pulled Cas onto the bed and held him close. He kissed his head, followed by his eyes. He kissed Cas’ mouth and Cas responded, forcing his tongue into Dean’s mouth.

Cas’ hands were everywhere, exploring every inch of Dean’s body. Cas was whispering, “So beautiful, so good… Dean…” It made Dean uncomfortable but he kind of liked it as well. He had never been with anyone who worshipped his body before and it made him feel special… loved, even.

When Cas entered him, he did it slowly, almost reverently. Dean was gasping, “Cas, Cas please… “ although, he didn’t know what he wanted Cas to do. Cas fucked him slowly, kissing him and sucking on his neck. He thought he’d lose his mind, needing more but not wanting to change a thing.

When he came untouched, he called out Cas’ name. Cas just whispered, “I’ve got you, Dean…” and then Cas came as well. The feeling of being filled with Cas’ cum was incredible. 

When they lay in each other’s arms, cleaned up and breathing steady again, Dean felt complete. He hugged Cas to him and fell asleep, happy for the first time he could remember.


	4. Chapter 4

Dean woke up early and was pleased to find Cas was still there. In fact, he was wrapped around Dean like an octopus. He had his head on Dean’s chest, arms thrown over Dean and one leg in between Dean’s legs. Dean kissed the top of Cas’ head and Cas made a grumpy sound that made Dean smile. He laid there, thinking about what Cas had said last night.

 

So, Cas was a librarian and his coworkers considered him weird and dorky? He found it hard to believe, but Cas seemed so intense when he told Dean that, so it must be true. And he didn’t date? Hard to believe this incredible man who fucked Dean into the mattress was the same one who Cas had described. It was a mystery and Dean intended to crack it.

 

Finally, the need to piss overcame his desire to hold Cas, so he took Cas’ arms off him, lifted his leg to the side and slid out of the bed. He walked nude to the bathroom and pissed, then rinsed his mouth with mouthwash and padded to the kitchen to start coffee.

 

The coffee pot was just about done when Cas came in, looking messier than usual. His hair was sticking up at odd angles and his eyes looked half asleep.

 

“I woke up and you weren’t there.” Cas had a grumpy tone. He obviously wasn’t a morning person at all. Dean smiled and walked to him, putting his arms around Cas’ waist and pulling him in for a kiss.

 

“Sorry, sunshine. I needed to piss and decided to make coffee.” Cas just grunted.

 

The coffee pot chimed and Dean went and got two cups. He poured Cas a cup and asked what he wanted in it, Cas just took it and took a sip. Dean poured himself a cup and sat down at the table. Cas sat too.

 

Dean let Cas drink his coffee in peace. He seemed to wake up more as he drank. Dean finally decided to test the water by asking how Cas slept.

 

“Like a drunken baby. I haven’t slept that good in. well… forever.” Cas smiled.

 

“I was hoping we could spend the day together.” Dean wanted to get to know the ‘real’ Cas, so badly. “Maybe I could see where you live?”

 

Cas looked at him for so long, Dean was afraid he was going to say no. But finally, Cas said, “Yeah. I guess I’d like that.”

 

Dean smiled big at him. “Great! Let me fix that breakfast I said I’d make you first.” He got up and started to get together everything he needed to fix a big breakfast.

 

Cas poured himself another cup of coffee and watched Dean cook.

 

“I can’t cook anything.” It was just a statement and Cas shook his head as he said it.

 

“Well. I’m a great cook, so I’ll do all the cooking in this relationship.” Dean grinned.

 

“So, now we’re in a relationship?” Cas looked at Dean questioningly.

 

“I sure hope so.” Dean grabbed plates and started to dish up food.

 

Cas took a bite of egg and then a bite of bacon. His eyes got bright and he moaned appreciatively. 

 

“Wow. You really  _ can  _ cook!” 

 

Dean just smiled and said, “Told you so.”

 

They ate their food, and then Cas leaned over and kissed Dean. He tasted like eggs and Cas. Dean stood up and pulled Cas to his feet. He wrapped his arms around Cas’ waist and pulled him close. Cas nestled his face into Dean’s neck and sighed.

 

“ I really like you Dean.”

 

“I really like you too, Cas.”

 

They dressed and got in Dean’s car. “Okay, Cas, give me directions.”

 

Cas led them to his apartment. He lived in a run-down building that was in a not-so-good area of town. Dean was surprised at the area. “You live here? Man this is a sketchy area. Are you sure you’re safe here?”

 

Cas just nodded. “No one bothers me.”

 

Dean let it go. When Cas unlocked his door, he held the door open for Dean and Dean went in. He looked around at the living room. It was filled with books. There were books everywhere. On the shelves that lined the walls, on every available surface, in every chair. 

 

Cas sighed and said, “Uh, I like to read.”

 

Dean smiled and answered, “Yeah, I’d say so.” 

 

Cas cleared a chair and told Dean to sit and Dean did. Cas sat on the floor at his feet. 

 

“You can see why I was reluctant to bring you here?” Cas looked around at the mess.

 

“It’s okay Cas. It’s part of you and I want to see it.” Dean felt sort of sad. Cas lived here, amidst all these books and it seemed melancholy, and lonely.

 

“I spend all my time in the bedroom.” Cas stood up and walked to the next room and Dean followed. He entered a room that was immaculate, in contrast to the living room. The bed was made, covered with a red comforter. There was a chair, a desk and a bedside table. The rug on the floor was red as well. 

 

Dean sat on the bed and Cas knelt in front of him. Cas reached over and undid Dean’s belt. Dean looked down at him, waiting. Cas undid the button on his pants and then unzipped them. He reached in and grabbed Dean’s cock.

 

“I want to finish what I started last night.” With that, he look Dean’s flaccid dick in his mouth. Dean moaned and began to get hard. Cas just held his cock in his mouth until Dean was fully hard and then he sucked on the head. Dean watched him, feeling awestruck at the way Cas’ lips looked around his cock.

 

Cas sucked down until Dean’s cock hit the back of his throat, and then he swallowed. Dean moaned at the feeling.

 

Cas popped his mouth off and pushed Dean back. Dean lay on the bed with his legs hanging off and Cas pulled Dean’s pants down and off. Then he went back to sucking on Dean’s cock like it was a popsicle. He ran his mouth up and down the shaft and swirled his tongue around it and Dean was moaning loudly.

 

When Cas touched his balls, he almost came off the bed. Cas continued to suck even as he pulled gently on Dean’s balls and ran a finger under them. Then he pushed a finger against Dean’s hole and that was all she wrote. Dean came with a cry and Cas swallowed every drop of cum that Dean gave him and sucked for more.   
  
When Cas pulled his mouth off, Cas looked up at Dean and smiled. “Yummy!” Dean laughed.

 


	5. Chapter 5

Cas stood up and started to undress. Dean followed suit and soon they were nude on the bed. Cas got between Dean’s legs and Dean spread them. Cas pushed his legs up and Dean held them up with his hands. 

 

Cas licked over Dean’s hole and Dean gasped. Cas ran his tongue around Dean’s hole and then breached him. Dean was groaning and wiggled his ass but Cas held him firmly. Cas wiggled his tongue around in Dean’s ass and pushed it in as far as it would go. 

 

A few more thrusts and Cas pulled his tongue out and grabbed lube from the bedside table. He lubed up his fingers and pushed one into Dean. Dean threw his head back and moaned. When one finger became two, he pushed against them. Cas smiled and added a finger. Dean groaned out, “I’m ready Cas… please, I’m so ready…”

 

Cas continued to finger his hole until Dean was begging him to fuck him. Finally, Cas pulled his fingers out, much to Dean’s relief. He lubed up his cock and pushed into Dean until he was all the way in. 

 

Dean was feeling things he never felt before. He was concentrating on Cas’ cock in him, but he was feeling many other sensations as well. Mostly, he was feeling love. He loved Cas, there was no denying it. He moaned when Cas pumped into him, and gasped out, “I love you, Cas…”

 

Cas stopped. He was fully in Dean and he just stopped. 

 

“What did you say, Dean?”

 

Dean was afraid he’d made a terrible mistake. He looked at Cas, who had a confused look on his face.

 

“Uh… I said I love you.”

 

Cas grinned a big, gummy smile and said, “I love you too, Dean.” He went back to fucking Dean like nothing had happened.

 

Dean breathed a sigh of relief and just concentrated on how good it felt. Cas was thrusting in and out of him and it was just heaven. Dean figured they could talk it out later. Right now, he just wanted to feel Cas inside him.

 

Later, after they had both cum and were laying in each other’s arms, Dean tried again. 

 

“I really do love you, Cas. I meant it when I said it.”

 

Cas sighed, “I know, I meant it too.”

 

They just went to sleep.

 

They woke up in late afternoon. The sun was shining in the window on the rug. Dean yawned and pulled Cas half on him. He kissed Cas.   
  
“Hey, Cas… “

 

Cas grinned and kissed him back. 

 

“We should get up. I bet you’re hungry.” Cas pulled away from him and sat on the edge of the bed. Dean did feel hungry but he wanted to talk, too.

 

“Cas, I want you to move in with me. I can’t stand thinking about you here. It isn’t safe.”

 

Cas just looked at him for a few minutes. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Dean. You don’t really know anything about me. I’m weird.”   
  
Dean just grinned. “I know you’re weird, Cas. I don’t care. I love you just like you are. I won’t give up on it, so you might as well just agree now.”

 

Cas shook his head. “No. I won’t move in with you. Not yet. You think you love me but you don’t know me. You just think you do. You think I’m Crimson… I’m not. I’m Cas Novak and that is just a part I play two or three days a week for fun. The rest of the time, I’m just Cas Novak, weirdo.”

 

Dean grabbed Cas and made him look at him. “It’s true, I was attracted to Crimson, at first. But I love you, Cas Novak. I think I know you pretty well right now. I love you, Cas, and nothing I find out about you is going to change that.”

 

Cas just shook his head no and pulled away. “I think you should go now, Dean.”

 

Dean was angry. “You can’t just shut me out, Cas. You told me you loved me too. I won’t let this go. Please, Cas…”

 

Cas just stood up and began to put his clothes on. He handed Dean his clothes. Dean took them and sighed.

 

“At least tell me where you work, Cas.”   
  
Cas looked away and said, “I’m a librarian at the Woods library. Now go, Dean, please.”

 

Dean dressed and left. He sat in his car, tears stinging his eyes. He couldn’t understand what made Cas change. He knew Cas was afraid, but of what? He wasn’t going to give up.

 

He drove home.

 

The next day was Monday. He took the day off. He really didn’t feel much like being around people anyway. But, he had a plan. He drove to the Woods library and sat in his car, thinking.

 

He got out and walked in the library. He looked around but didn’t see Cas. He walked up to the information desk and asked the man sitting there how he could find Cas Novak. The guy blinked and said, “Who?” 

 

Dean repeated that he wanted to see Cas Novak. The guy, whose name tag read, ‘Michael’ just looked at Dean with a confused look on his face and said, “Why?”

 

Dean was getting annoyed. “Because I’m his boyfriend, okay? Now, where is he?”

 

The guy got an even more confused look. “Boyfriend? Cas has a boyfriend? Uh, okay… he’s working in the history section today. You can find him in there somewhere.”

 

Dean turned and huffed away. The guy’s reaction pissed him off to no end. He walked around, looking for the history section. When he found it, he walked through the stacks until he saw Cas.

 

Cas was looking over a cart of books. He was wearing a suit, a white shirt and a blue tie that was turned around backwards. He looked adorable to Dean but he could see why people thought he was weird. The tie was a little much.   
  
Dean walked up to Cas and said, “Cas, hi.”

 

Cas jumped a little, startled out of his reverie. He looked at Dean and blinked. 

 

“Wha… what are you doing here, Dean?”

 

Dean just smiled and said, “I’m visiting my boyfriend at work. Wondering if I can take you to lunch.”

 

Cas smiled. “Your boyfriend?”

 

“Yes, my boyfriend. Now, can I take you to lunch?”

 

Cas nodded. He went and got his coat, an old trench coat, and they walked out. Dean took Cas’ hand and held it. People stared at them as they walked out.    
  
Dean took Cas to a little diner he liked and they ordered bacon cheeseburgers and fries. While they waited for their food to arrive, Cas asked, “Why are you doing this, Dean? I don’t understand.”   
  
Dean smiled at him and answered, “You are my boyfriend and I want everyone to know it, The people where you work need to know you have a boyfriend and that I love you, a lot.”   
  
Cas just shook his head. They ate their food in silence.   
  
When they were done, Dean asked, “Why are you so opposed to having everyone know I’m your boyfriend?”

 

Cas just looked at him for a minute. “Because I guess I’m not used to having a boyfriend. You’re my first.”   
  
Dean just grinned at him. “Well, get used to it. Now, can I see you tonight? Can I pick you up after work?”

 

Cas nodded. Dean drove him back to work, went inside with him and kissed him goodbye in front of everyone there.

 


	6. Chapter 6

Dean walked into the library at exactly five till six. He smiled at Michael, who looked confused and shocked to see him, again. He waited until they were locking the doors and Cas came out of the stacks. Cas smiled when he saw Dean and Dean walked up to him, pulled him close and kissed him.   
  
Cas went to get his coat and Dean looked at Michael. “Take a picture, dude, it’ll last longer.” Michael blushed and looked away.   
  
Cas came back and he and Dean left, walking to Dean’s Impala. Dean opened the door for Cas and then walked around to get in the driver’s seat.

 

“So, where to, Cas? Want to get dinner?”

 

Cas shook his head. “I’m not hungry. Let’s go to your place.”

 

Dean grinned and fired up the car.

 

When they walked in to Dean’s place, Cas took off his coat and sat on the couch. Dean sat next to him. 

 

“Have you thought about moving in with me anymore?”

 

Cas jumped up and balled his hands in fists. “NO! I can’t move in with you! I can’t live with anyone.”

 

Dean was taken aback by Cas’ outburst. “Why? Tell me why, Cas? You can’t just say no and not give me a reason.”

 

Cas’ lower lip began to tremble and soon, tears were running down his face.

 

“I’m bad, Dean. I’m weak. You don’t know me… I’m bad…”

 

Dean jumped up and took Cas in his arms. “No, you’re not bad, Cas. Why do you say that? Why do you think you’re bad?”

 

Cas sobbed into Dean’s shoulder. 

 

Dean held him and rubbed circles on his back. When he finally quit crying, Cas pulled away.

 

“My mother… my mother told me I was bad, weak… evil. She knew me and she told me I was bad.”

 

Dean was horrified. “Why would she tell you that? It isn’t true.”

 

Cas sighed and sat back down on the couch. “She caught me wearing my sister’s dress. She beat me and told me I was bad. When she found out I was gay, she… she…”

 

Dean sat down next to Cas and put a hand on his knee. “She was wrong, Cas. She didn’t understand you. What did she do to you?”

 

Cas looked away. “She punished me. She told me I was bad and that I needed to repent. She told me, day after day, I was bad and evil.”

 

Dean was heartbroken. But he couldn’t. All he could do was listen and try to convince Cas his mother was the one that was evil. He wished he could take all that had happened to Cas and make it better, like it never happened.

 

“Cas, how did she punish you?”

 

Cas looked like a caged animal. His eyes were wild. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

 

Dean sighed. He struggled with what to say to Cas. Finally, he said, “But you’re Crimson. That’s cross-dressing. You and I made love. How is that wrong? Do you think  _ I’m _ bad, that  _ I’m _ evil?”

 

Cas looked at him, clearly shocked. “No! I don’t think you’re bad, Dean. And I… I’m Crimson because I’m weak. You just don’t understand.”

 

“I  _ do _ understand, Cas! I understand that your mother was an abusive homophobe that hurt you when you were growing up. You’ve got to forget the things she told you.”

 

Cas looked down and started to cry again. Dean held him, his heart breaking.

 

“Come to bed with me. Let me hold you. We won’t do anything you don’t want to do, just let me hold you.”

 

Cas nodded, and Dean led him to the bedroom. He undressed Cas, down to his boxers and put Cas in the bed. Then he pulled off his clothes, leaving his boxers on, and climbed in beside Cas. He pulled him close and held him, just listening to Cas cry. Eventually, Cas cried himself to sleep.

 

Dean took a long time getting to sleep himself. He just kept running over what Cas had told him. Eventually he drifted off.

 

Dean was having an awesome dream. His cock was inside something wet and warm and… He came awake and Cas was blowing him. He moaned and said, “Cas… Ca….Cas what are you doing?”

 

Cas popped his mouth off and said, “I’m fellating you. What do you think?”

 

Dean laughed and pulled Cas up for a kiss. “Awesome way to wake up, but  _ why _ are you blowing me in my sleep?”

 

Cas smiled and said, “I woke up horny and you were there and you had a hard on and one thing led to another…”

 

Dean kissed Cas again. “I want you to fuck me. Is that okay with you?”

 

Cas nodded fiercely. 

 

Cas began to kiss Dean’s chest, then his belly… working his way down. He grabbed the lube from the bedside table and lubed up his fingers. He pushed Dean’s legs apart and shoved a finger into him.

 

Dean moaned and lifted his legs for Cas. Cas put another finger into Dean and Dean groaned in pleasure. He pushed against Cas’ fingers as Cas moved his fingers inside Dean. Cas found Dean’s prostate and rubbed, sending sparks through Dean.

 

Cas kept it up until he had four fingers in Dean, and Dean was begging him to fuck him. Cas was grinning, saying “But you look so beautiful when you’re begging like this.”

 

“God damn it, Cas, fuck me now or I swear…”

 

“You swear what, Dean?” Cas wiggled his fingers around inside Dean. “What will you do?”

 

“I’ll kick you out of bed and jack off.” Dean was growling in frustration.   
  
“Well, I guess I don’t want that…” Cas pulled out his fingers and grabbed the lube. He poured a generous amount in his hand and lubed up his cock.

 

When Cas thrust into Dean, Dean groaned, “Oh, thank god…”

 

Cas fucked him for a long time, alternating between thrusting in hard and then slowly and tenderly. Dean was whimpering and moaning.

 

When Dean came, he came screaming Cas’ name. Cas came just a few thrusts later, filling Dean with warm cum and collapsing on Dean’s chest.

 

They lay together, limbs entwined, and kissed. Dean whispered, “I love you, Cas.”

 

Cas sighed, “I know you do, but I don’t know why.”

 

Dean sat up and looked at Cas. “Why? Dude, you’re drop dead gorgeous, you’re smart, you’re funny, and you fuck like no one I’ve ever been with. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.”

 

Cas blushed and looked away, but Dean made him turn back and look at him.

 

“I love you Castiel Novak. Get used to it.”

 

He held Cas until they both fell asleep again.

  
  



	7. Chapter 7

Dean took Cas to work the next morning and then spent a lot of time researching PTSD. He figured that Cas suffered from it and he found out he was right. He learned everything he could possibly find on the subject over the next couple of days.

 

It was Wednesday, and Crimson was performing that night at the club. Dean had arranged to drive Cas there. He waited at the front table for the show to begin. It finally did, and he sat through several acts until Crimson was finally introduced. 

 

He sucked in a breath when he saw Cas. Cas was wearing a sparkly top that barely covered his breasts and a very short skirt. It barely cleared his ass. There were garters hanging down from under the skirt and they were attached to thigh high stocking that were white and had bows on the back. He looked delicious, to say the least.

 

When he began to lip sync, it was to the song At Last by Etta James. Dean was enthralled, as was the rest of the patrons. When Crimson was done, the entire club erupted in applause and cheers. Dean realized he had been holding his breath and took a deep breath to clear his head.

 

Dean jumped up and went to the back. He nodded at Marcel, who stood aside and let Dean pass. Dean walked into Crimson’s dressing room and took a deep breath. Cas was sitting at the dressing table and looked up at Dean. He had tears in his eyes.   
  
“I need to quit doing this, Dean. I’ve got to stop.” Cas’ voice broke as he said it.

 

Dean walked to him and took Cas’ face in his hands. “No, you don’t Cas. It’s a part of you and you’re really good at it. There’s nothing wrong with it.”

 

Cas just looked up at Dean with tears in his eyes. “I wish I could believe that, Dean.”

 

Dean kissed him and said, “Believe it. Have I ever lied to you? I wouldn’t tell you it was okay if it wasn’t.”

 

Cas just sighed and began to remove his make up. Dean went and sat down. He watched Cas remove all his make up and then his costume. He lifted a leg to remove the thigh highs and Dean felt his cock twitch. It was so erotic, Cas cross-dressing and then going back to being Cas.

 

When Cas was done and dressed in jeans and a shirt, they went to Dean’s Impala and Dean asked where Cas wanted to go, home or to Dean’s place. Cas said quietly, “I’d like to go to your place for the night.”

 

Dean grinned at him and drove them home.

 

When they got there, Dean got them both a beer and they sat on the couch.    
  
“Cas, I think you have PTSD from what was done to you as a child. You need to deal with it. Maybe get some counseling. But I’m here for you, no matter what.”

 

Cas looked like a deer caught in headlights. He stammered, “I… I thought I did for a long time. I just never had anyone who cared enough about me to care if I got help or not. I… I love you, Dean.”

 

Dean smiled at Cas and answered, “I love you too, Cas.” He kissed Cas tenderly. 

 

Dean said quietly, “If you ever feel safe enough to tell me what your mother did to you, I’m here. Just wanted you to know.”

 

Cas smiled shyly and said, “I’ll remember that.”

 

It was late and they both had to work in the morning. They stripped to their boxers and crawled into Dean’s bed. Covered up, snuggled into each other and went to sleep.

 

Dean reached for Cas in the middle of the night and came up empty-handed. He woke up fully and listened to hear if Cas was just using the bathroom. It was silent. Dean got up and went looking for Cas. He found him curled up on the bathroom floor, knees pulled up to his chest and his head was buried in them. He was sobbing.

 

Dean sat on the floor next to Cas and put a hand on his shoulder.

 

“Cas? What happened?”

 

Cas didn’t look up but said into his knees, trying to speak clearly, “I… I had a bad… a bad dream.”

 

Dean put his arms around Cas as best he could and tried to comfort him.

 

“Baby, I’m so sorry, Why didn’t you wake me up? I’m here now. Please stop crying.”

 

Cas hiccuped and lifted his head. His face was red and tear-stained. 

 

“I didn’t wake you up because you were sleeping so soundly. I didn’t want to disturb you.”

 

Dean said, “Awe, baby, never think you’re disturbing me if you need me. I want to be there for you.”

 

Dean kissed Cas’ forehead and his cheeks, kissing the tears away.

 

“You want to tell me about the dream? Or do you just want to go back to bed?”

 

Cas said he just wanted to go back to bed, so Dean led him to the bed and cuddled next to him, holding him in his arms. He waited until Cas was asleep and then went to sleep himself.

 

The next day, after a quick breakfast, Dean drove Cas to work. He made it a point to walk Cas in and kiss him goodbye, just so Cas’ co-workers could see. He told Cas he’d pick him up after work and went to work himself.

 

He worried about Cas all day. He was sure that his bad dream had been PTSD related and he needed to get Cas into therapy. He just didn’t know how Cas would feel about it. He still hadn’t made a decision when he went to pick up Cas from work.

 

He walked in and sat down. It was ten till six and the library closed at six. He smiled at the guy behind the desk, and got a nod in response. About five minutes later, Cas appeared. Dean stood up and pulled him in for a kiss by his coat. This time the guy behind the desk smiled at them.

 

They went out and got in the Impala. Dean drove home. 

 

When they were sitting together on the couch, Dean took a deep breath and said, “Cas, I think you should consider going to a therapist for your PTSD. I mean, you could work out your issues with being Crimson, at the very least.” 

 

Cas sat there, looking off into space. After a bit, he said, “Okay, Dean. If you think it’s a good idea, then it probably is. I’ll go.”

 

Dean was relieved. He kissed Cas and just said, “Thank you, baby,” very quietly. “I’ll look into it and find you a good one,”

 

They had dinner and didn’t talk about it again.   
  


 


	8. Chapter 8

Dean did a lot of research online for therapists. He wanted someone who specialized in PTSD, but who was also gay friendly. He read reviews of every therapist who seemed like they might fit the bill. He ended up with two possible therapists.

 

When he picked Cas up from work that evening, they went to Cas’ apartment because he was running out of clothes to wear to work. They stopped for Chinese on their way there, and ate in the bedroom, sitting on the floor.

 

Cas was laughing at Dean’s attempts to eat with chopsticks. Dean thought this was the perfect time to bring up the therapists.

 

“So, Cas, I found two therapists that seem suited to your needs. I was wondering if you wanted to call them and set up appointments.”

 

Cas stopped laughing. He looked at his food. “If you think they’re right for me, then just choose one and I’ll make an appointment.”

 

Dean answered, “I don’t think I should choose for you, Cas. This is an important step for you. Don’t you want to, like, interview them or something?”

 

Cas shook his head no. “I wouldn’t know what to ask them. I trust you to choose.”

 

Dean did  _ not _ want that responsibility. What if he chose the wrong one? Cas could be more scarred than he was now.

 

“What if I go with you to interview these two and then we decided together?”

 

Cas agreed to that. 

 

Dean decided not to press his luck by asking Cas again to move in with him.

 

When Cas had gathered more clothes and cleaned up the Chinese food, they left and drove to Dean’s house. 

 

When they got inside, Cas took his bag to the bedroom, followed closely by Dean. When Cas dropped his bag in the corner, Dean turned him around, pulled him close and kissed him passionately. He sucked Cas’ bottom lip into his mouth and lightly bit it.

 

When the kiss broke, Cas grinned at him. “I get the impression you want sex.”

 

Dean wiggled his eyebrows at Cas and leered.

  
  
  


When they were naked and in bed, Cas took control. He straddled Dean’s hips and kissed him. He kissed over Dean's jaw and down his throat. He sucked red marks on it, than continued down to Dean’s collarbone. He licked over it and then moved down to Dean’s nipples. 

 

Cas took a mipple in his mouth and lightly bit it. Dean moaned. Cas sucked hard on it and Dean arched his back into it. Cas sucked Dean’s nipple until it was a hard pebble in his mouth and then moved down further.

 

Cas licked over Dean’s chest and down to his belly. Dean put his hand on Cas’ head as he moaned. He needed to make a connection; to feel more of Cas than just his mouth.

 

Cas licked over the head of Dean’s leaking cock and Dean groaned. But Cas moved down even more. He sucked in each of Dean’s balls and rolled them around in his mouth. Then he let go of them and licked under them.

 

“Cas, I’m dying here… Please….”

 

Cas kissed Dean under his balls and said, “Hold on, Dean. I’m getting to it.”

 

Dean answered with a groan.

 

Cas pushed Dean’s legs apart and Dean lifted them. Cas used his hands to pull apart Dean’s ass cheeks and licked across Dean’s hole. Dean gasped and yelled, “Cas!” 

 

Cas shushed him and licked around his hole, then shoved his tongue in. Dean was panting and fisting the bedspread. Cas loved Dean’s smell, his taste. He licked inside Dean for a bit, then he sat back. 

 

He grabbed the lube and lubed up his hand. He ran his fingers through it and then pushed one into Dean. Dean gasped and tightened up on Cas’ finger but then relaxed. Cas moved the finger back and forth inside Dean and smiled at Dean’s moans.

 

When he felt that Dean was ready, he added another finger and scissored them back and forth, opening Dean up for his cock. 

 

“Cas…. Cas please… I’m ready…. Please…”

 

Cas smiled at Dean begging for his cock. He pulled the fingers out and replaced it with his lubed cock. He slid in and didn’t stop until he was fully in. Dean had his legs wrapped around Cas’ hips, but Cas took his legs and put them on his shoulders.

 

He moved up, bending Dean in half and shoving his cock in more. Dean was making little sounds in his throat that spurred Cas on.

 

Cas pulled back and thrust back in, hard. Dean gasped and then groaned. He met every thrust with one of his own.

 

Cas established a hard pace, snapping his hips into Dean every time. He loved it and knew Dean could take it. 

 

Dean mumbled, “God, Cas… it’s so good… good… faster. Fuck me faster…”

 

Cas sped up his thrusts. He wanted Dean to cum on his cock alone. 

 

“Dean, I want you to cum. Just cum for me…”

 

Dean tightened up on Cas’ cock. Cas almost came when he did but was able to hold back. 

 

Then Dean groaned loudly and said, “Cas… I’m gonna…”

 

And he came. His cum coated his chest and Cas’ too.

 

Cas groaned as Dean’s hole tightened and released and then tightened even more. He came hard, deep inside Dean. 

 

Cas laid with Dean’s head on his shoulder. He kissed the top of Dean’s head. 

 

“I love you, Dean.”

 

Dean mumbled sleepily, “I love you, Cas.”

 

Cas listened to the even breathing of his lover. He thought about going to a therapist and how that would go. He wanted to get better, to not be so torn about his cross dressing and not to have panic attacks anymore. But the idea of having to tell a stranger about his childhood was terrifying. He decided to just trust Dean and let things happen as they would.

 

He fell asleep.

 


	9. Chapter 9

Dean called the two therapist's offices and explained the situation. He made appointments for him and Cas to talk to the therapist and wrote them down. Then he texted Cas and told him when they were so he could arrange for time off from the library. He made both appointments around lunch time so it would not interfere with Cas’ job too much.

 

Cas texted back a bit later that he had arranged with his boss to take the time off and everything was fine. Dean sighed with relief. He knew Cas was uncomfortable with talking to anyone about his childhood, and was just grateful that Cas had agreed to try.

 

And he hoped that one of the therapists would click with Cas.

 

At work, his boss, Bobby Singer, asked what he needed the extra time for. Bobby was a long-time friend, and Dean felt comfortable enough with him, to tell him about Cas.

 

Bobby listened without interrupting. When Dean was done, all he said was, “I’m glad you found someone, boy. And I hope it works out.”

 

Dean smiled and put a hand on Bobby’s shoulder. “Me too, Bobby.”

 

The first appointment was with a therapist named Garth Fitzgerald. Dean held Cas’ hand while they waited in the waiting room. Cas was nervous as hell and Dean was trying to comfort him and calm him down.

 

When Cas’ name was called, Cas actually jumped. Dean squeezed his hand and they stood up and walked to the office. When they got in, it was nicely decorated, with a large desk and two chairs in front of it. There was a couch and a chair in the corner. Soothing pictures were on the walls. Dean felt better and guided Cas to the chairs in front of the desk.

 

Soon, a door opened on the other side of the room and the therapist walked out and sat behind the desk. He was tall, thin and sort of goofy looking. He smiled at them and folded his hands on his chest.

 

“So, I understand that one of you thinks he has PTSD. Which of you is the potential patient?”

 

Cas cleared his throat and said, “Uh, that would be me. I’m Castiel Novak.”

 

This was the beginning of a discussion of what the therapy would entail, and it all sounded pretty good to Dean. That was, until they got to the subject of Crimson.

 

“Oh, no.” Fitzgerald looked shocked. “That is aberrant behavior. I’d have to work with you to get you to stop that.”

 

Dean had heard enough. He stood up and said, “Well, thank you. I think we’ve heard enough.”

 

Cas stood up, looking confused, but he went out with Dean.

 

“What happened, Dean? What made you leave?”

 

Dean looked at Cas. “No way is you being Crimson aberrant. He’s just prejudiced and we don’t need that. Let’s wait until we talk to the other therapist.”

 

Cas just shook his head in agreement. “Okay, Dean. Whatever you say.”

 

Dean felt uncomfortable with how much Cas trusted him in this, but he was sure that it was okay that Cas played Crimson, and he needed a therapist to agree.

 

Their next appointment was the next day. It was with a very highly regarded therapist in the gay community, Dr. Ellen Harvelle. Dean walked in with Cas, spoke to the receptionist and they sat down to wait. 

 

It was only a few minutes until they were called to the office. Dean held Cas’ hand and they went in. The office was small but warmly furnished, There was no desk, just a couch and a few chairs, Dean and Cas sat on the couch and waited for the doctor to come in.

 

They didn’t have to wait long. A very pretty, petite woman came in and smiled at them before sitting in a chair that faced the couch.

 

“My name is Ellen Harvelle but you can call me Ellen. Which of you is interested in therapy?”

 

Cas said quietly, “It’s me.”

 

She glanced at a paper she had in her lap.“Well, Cas, can I call you Cas?”

 

Cas nodded.

 

“I understand that you possibly have PTSD. There are two main reasons for post traumatic stress, and I’m thinking with you, it is childhood trauma.”

 

Cas looked at her and asked, “What is the other reason?”

 

Ellen smiled. “Soldiers. They often get PTSD from their time spent abroad.”

 

Cas just said, “Oh.”

 

“Is this your partner?”

 

Dean smiled, “Yes, Cas and I are in a relationship.”

 

Ellen smiled at him. “It’s good you have the kind of relationship where you are supportive of one another.”

 

They chatted for awhile and then the subject of Crimson came up. Ellen seemed excited to hear about Cas performing two or three times a week as Crimson.

 

“I’d love to see you perform! That’s an excellent way to overcome your past abuse.”

 

Dean broke out in a huge smile. “That’s what I think, too.”

 

Cas just looked back and forth between the two.

 

Dean asked, “What’s your stance on cross-dressing in general?”

 

“I think it’s completely healthy.” Ellen smiled at both of them. “It’s just another way of expressing oneself.”

 

The rest of the appointment went really well.

 

Dean walked out to the car with Cas. “So, what did you think of Ellen?”

 

Cas smiled shyly. “I kind of liked her. What did you think?”

 

Dean smiled. “I loved her. I really think she’s the one.”

 

Cas agreed. “I’ll make an appointment with her right away.”

 

Dean felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

 

Cas followed through and made an appointment with Ellen for the following week.

 

Cas had his first appointment with Ellen and Dean drove him there. He waited in the waiting room while Cas had his appointment. When Cas came out, he looked pale and shaken.

 

Dean jumped to his feet. “Cas, what happened? You look…”

 

Cas smiled. “It was hard, Dean. But I really like her.”

 

Dean heaved a sigh of relief. “I’m glad baby.”

 

In the car, Cas told Dean that he now knew that his mother was abusive. Dean thought that was a huge step forward already.

 


	10. Chapter 10

Friday rolled around and Dean took Cas to the club. He took his usual place up front and ordered a beer. As he sat through the other acts, he thought about Cas.

 

He loved Cas. He’d never loved anybody before, outside of family. It felt strange and good and scary and wonderful. He wished Cas would move in with him. Cas’ apartment was impossible to stay at. It was a landscape filled with landmines (otherwise known as books) and there wasn’t a single thing in Cas’ refrigerator. 

 

He suddenly heard the announcer introduce Crimson. The crowd clapped enthusiastically. The stage went black. When the spotlight came on, Crimson was standing there, wearing a slinky red dress, showing every curve. She had on red hose and sparkly red shoes. She looked great, to put it mildly.

 

The music started to play.

 

Crimson began to lip sync...

 

Baby, when I think about you

I think about love

Darlin, gonna live without you

And your love

If I had those golden dreams of my yesterday

I would wrap you

In the heavens 

And feel it dying dying dying all the way

 

well i feel like makin

 

And here, Crimson pointed right at Dean.

 

Feel like makin love

Feel like makin love

Feel like makin love

I feel like makin love to you

 

Baby, if I think about you

I think about love and

Darlin, if I had to live without you

I live without love

And if I had the sun and moon

and they were shinin

I would give you both night and day

Love satisfying

 

Crimson walked to Dean and sat in his lap, facing him. Dean had a huge grin on his face, and wrapped his arms around Crimson.

 

well I Feel like makin

Feel like makin love

Feel like makin love 

Feel like makin love

I feel like makin love to you

 

And if I had those golden dreams of my yesterday

I would wrap you

In the heavens

Feel it dying dying dying all the way

 

Feel like makin

Feel like makin love

Feel like makin love

Feel like makin love

I feel like makin love to you

 

When the song ended, Crimson kissed Dean passionately while the crowd went wild.

 

Crimson got up and left the room. Dean followed him and went into his dressing room. He kissed Cas and told him that he was amazing. Cas grinned.

 

Cas pulled away and pulled off his shoes. He stuck a leg up straight up in the air to take off his hose. Dean sucked in a breath.

 

“Damn that’s sexy.”

 

Cas turned and looked at him. “You like this?”

 

“Oh hell yeah, baby, It is so arousing.”

 

Cas grinned and continued to remove his hose. He lifted the other leg and rolled the hose off slowly. Then he stood up and walked to Dean. He turned his back to Dean and said, “Unzip me?”

 

Dean grabbed the zipper pull and slowly pulled the zipper down. He kissed the back of Cas’ neck and put his hands on Cas’ ass.

 

“Ummm baby, I love you so much.”

 

Cas laughed and walked away. “I love you too, Dean, and you are getting entirely too worked up.”

 

Dean laughed and sat down. He watched Cas take off his makeup and put on jeans and a T-shirt. He grabbed Dean’s hand and pulled him towards the exit.

 

Dean was driving and Cas suddenly laid down on the front seat and unzipped Dean’s pants.

 

“Whatcha doin there, baby?   
  


Cas smiled up Dean and took Dean’s cock out of his pants. Dean gasped and then groaned as Cas took his cock in his mouth.

 

Cas sucked on Dean’s cock until it hardened. Dean was gripping the steering wheel with a death grip and kept his eyes open and on the road, as difficult as it was.

 

Cas sucked up and down the shaft of Dean’s cock as it got hard. He licked across the head and into the slit. Dean was groaning loudly.

 

“Jesus! Cas… that’s so good but…. Shit!”

 

Luckily it wasn’t far to Dean’s place. They jumped out, Dean trying to hide his erection with his hands and Cas used the key to unlock the door. They ran in, slammed the door behind them and Cas was on him immediately.

 

They kissed and groped their way to the bedroom. Cas tried to get Dean’s shirt off over his head, and broke the kiss just long enough to yank it off. Dean pulled on Cas’ T-shirt but couldn’t get it off until Cas lifted his arms.

 

Pants were easier; They were around their ankles and they kissed as they toed out of their shoes and then their pants. Dean hopped around on one foot while he was taking off his socks. Cas sat on the edge of the bed to take his socks off and laughed at Dean.

 

When Dean finally had his socks off, he fell into Cas and they collapsed on the bed. Dean was on top, but Cas soon flipped them over so that he was on top.

 

Cas kept kissing Dean but his hands slid down Dean’s chest, over his belly and then to his cock. Dean groaned into Cas’ mouth. Cas ran his hand up and down the shaft and Dean got hard again quickly. Then Cas moved down and made Dean spread his legs wide apart. He grabbed a pillow and shoved it under Dean’s ass. Dean lifted his head and watched Cas’ every move.

 

Cas grabbed the lube and lubed up his hand. He shoved a finger into Dean and Dean moaned loudly. Cas pulled back on his finger and then put a second one in. He pushed and pulled them in Dean as Dean tried to keep his eyes open but he couldn’t do it for long. He closed his eyes and let his head drop as Cas worked on his hole.

 

Then Cas pulled his fingers out and replaced them with his cock. Dean gasped and wrapped his legs around Cas. Cas shoved in and pulled back, then shoved in again.

 

It didn’t take them long to come. They came at the same time, gasping and telling each other how much they loved each other. Cas pulled out and rolled to Dean’s side.

 

As they caught their breath, Dean managed to say,”I wish you would wear your woman’s clothes other times. Not just when you’re performing. You’re so sexy when you do.”

 

Cas looked at him thoughtfully.

 


	11. Chapter 11

A couple of weeks passed with Cas going to his appointments with Ellen. On the third week, Dean was sitting in the waiting room and Ellen came out and asked him to join her and Cas. Dean got up and walked behind her to her office, wondering why he was called in.

 

When he got into the room, Cas was sitting on the couch so Dean sat down beside him. Cas looked anxious and Dean got a lump in his stomach, hoping this wasn’t something bad.

 

When Ellen sat down in a chair across from them, she smiled. Dean felt a little better seeing that.

 

“Cas and I have been discussing his cross-dressing for the shows. He told me that you find his cross-dressing arousing.”

 

Dean looked at Cas and smiled. “Yes, I really do.”

 

Ellen continued. “Cas thinks he is ready to cross-dress in a setting that is not performance oriented. He is willing to dress like a woman in a public setting. I think it would be helpful to him to go out on a date with you, dressed like a woman. Would you be willing to take Cas on a date?”

 

Dean was excited. “Oh yeah I am! I’d love to take Cas on a date with him dressed like a woman!”

 

Dean looked at Cas and smiled brightly. “Baby, I’d love that.”

 

Cas smiled weakly. “I guess I’m ready to try.”

 

Dean hugged him. “How about tomorrow night?”

 

Cas nodded. Ellen smiled. “Wonderful! Now Cas, you can change your mind if it feels like it’s going to trigger you. But I really think it would do you a world of good to do this.” 

 

Cas nodded again. He and Dean got up to leave and Cas thanked her. She grinned.

 

The next night, Cas had to go to his apartment to get ready for the date. Dean dropped him off, arranging to pick him back up at seven. Dean went home and put on a henley and some nice pants. He was really excited. He sang while he got ready, with a grin on his face.

 

When it was close to seven he got in the car and drove to Cas’. He got out of the car and knocked on Cas’ door. There was a slight wait, but then, Cas opened the door.

 

The sight that met him was amazing. Cas was wearing a dress that fit him like a glove. It was blue, almost the same shade as his eyes. He was wearing his breast forms and they looked amazing. He was wearing hose with just a touch of blue hues and heels that matched his dress. The outfit was complete with a choker and earrings. 

 

His makeup was perfect. His messy dark hair just enhanced the look.

 

Dean took a deep breath and said, “Cas… you’re beautiful.”

 

Cas smiled. “I wanted to be for you. I’m scared but I think I’m ready.

 

Dean kissed him. “I know you’re nervous but you don’t need to be. You look amazing and I’m proud to be taking you out.”

 

Dean took Cas’ arm and they left. Dean drove to a nice restaurant and they went in. The hostess led them to a booth and they sat close together. 

 

The dinner was perfect. The waiter called Cas with all the right pronouns and Dean was attentive to Cas. When it was time to leave. The waiter said, “Good night, ma’am.”

 

Cas was giddy in the car. He was so happy and it made Dean happy to see him like that. He wanted Cas to be happy and at ease with himself all the time and it looked like therapy was helping him to do that.

 

When they got to Dean’s place, Dean got out first and walked around to open Cas’ car door and help him out. They walked arm in arm to the door.

 

Once inside, Cas kissed Dean and whispered, “Let’s go to the bedroom.”

 

Dean was all for that.

 

Cas sat on the bed and Dean sat in a chair, watching him. He took off his heels and lifted one leg straight out. He pulled his dress up just a bit to reveal the garter attached to the hose. He undid it and slowly rolled the hose off his leg. Dean watched, transfixed. Then he did the other leg the same and Dean sucked in a big breath.

 

Next, he stood up and walked to Dean. Turning around, he said, “Unzip me?” 

 

Dean stood up and slowly unzipped the dress. He could see Cas’ bra straps and the hint of a garter belt. He wanted to grab Cas and strip him, but he controlled himself. Cas walked back to the bed and stood next to it.

 

Cas slowly took the dress off his shoulder and let it fall to the ground. He was wearing a blue bra and garter belt and under it, there was a hint of panties.

 

Dean held his breath.

 

Cas took off his bra and the breast forms. Dean didn’t care about breasts so he waited.

 

Then Cas reached for the hooks on his garter belt. Dean was getting excited. Cas undid the hooks and took off the garter belt. Under it was a pair of dark blue panties.

 

Dean was having a hard time staying in the chair. He wanted to jump up and take those panties off with his teeth. He told Cas that.

 

Cas grinned. “Come on over and do it.”

 

Dean jumped up and went to Cas. He pushed Cas down on the bed and crawled over him. He bent over the panties and looked hungrily at them. There was just a hint of Cas’ cock. He took the elastic waistband in his teeth and pulled them down. 

 

Cas’ cock appeared. It was tucked between his legs. It was just beginning to fill.

 

Dean pulled down more and Cas lifted his legs to assist. Dean pulled the panties down and off Cas with his teeth. 

 

Cas spread his legs so that his cock could stand up; it was fully erect. Dean licked the head and then took the length in his mouth. Cas moaned and thrust up into Dean’s mouth. It was so hot and wet, he couldn’t help himself. 

 

After a few minutes of Dean sucking his dick, Cas pulled him off. He pulled Dean up to his lips and kissed him, forcing his tongue into Dean’s mouth. Dean moaned into his mouth.

 

He flipped Dean on his back and got on top. Dean spread his legs apart and Cas positioned himself. He lubed up his cock and gently pushed it into Dean. They had enough sex lately, Dean was open enough and relaxed enough for Cas to do this.

 

Dean lifted his legs until they were by his ears and Cas pounded into him. 

  
  


As they lay together, trying to catch their breath, Dean just gasped out, “That was fantastic!”

 

Cas smiled. He knew that Dean was so turned on by his attire, and that made him feel special. Ellen was right.

 


	12. Chapter 12

Cas performed on Friday and Saturday. If anything, he seemed even more relaxed as Crimson and his performances were awesome. Dean was really pleased and told Cas that. 

 

Dean was happy that Cas’ therapy was going so well. Cas seemed to be dealing with his issues really well. Then, after about five weeks of therapy, Dean found Cas on the bathroom floor again.

 

“Cas, breathe.” He sat on the floor with Cas crying and hyperventilating. He rubbed Cas’ back and said soothing things to him.

 

When Cas could finally talk, he just looked at Dean, his face glistening with tears and said, “I’m so bad. I just can’t deal with this. I’m bad and I should be punished. I’m bad…”

 

Dean held him. “You aren’t bad, Cas. You’re the best person I know. Don’t let your mother control you anymore. What does Ellen say about this?”

 

Cas, hiccuping and wiping his tear-stained face, said, “She says my mother was abusive and that I should try to forget the things she told me. If I can’t forget them, I have to deal with them and get past them.”

 

Dean smiled at his lover. “So, you need to deal with this. You’re not bad and that’s the truth,”

 

Cas and Dean went back to bed and Dean held him close. He waited until he knew that Cas was asleep before he allowed himself to sleep.

 

The next therapy session, Dean asked Cas if he would talk to Ellen about why he wouldn’t move in with Dean. After all, they were together at Dean’s house all the time anyway. Cas agreed to talk to Ellen about it.

 

Dean waited as usual. He was wondering if Cas would bring the subject up and what Ellen would say about it. Towards the end of the hour, Ellen came and got him again.

 

He went in and sat on the couch with Cas. Ellen sat down. She began.

 

“Cas and I have discussed the issue of him moving in with you. He has some things to say to you.”

 

Dean looked at Cas. Cas took a deep breath.

 

“Dean, I’m worried that if I move in with you, you’ll get tired of me. I’m messy and I have all those books that I’m attached to. I just love you so much… I’d die if you broke up with me.”

 

Ellen said, “A bit dramatic but essentially true. He loves you very much.”

 

Dean looked at Cas and he began to laugh. 

 

“Baby, I already know you’re messy. I mean, you throw your clothes all over my place. Have I ever said a word to you about it?”

 

Cas looked down. “No.”

 

“No is right. I don’t care about that. And as far as the books, I’ve already thought about that. I’m gonna buy bookshelves. I mean, I’ll put bookshelves on every wall in my place, including the kitchen and the bathroom if that’s what it takes. I know you love your books and I’d never ask you to get rid of a single one. I love you. You’re IT for me, Cas. I can’t imagine my life without you in it.”

 

Cas had a tear running down his cheek that Dean wiped away.

 

“I’ll move in with you, Dean.”

 

Dean grabbed Cas and kissed him. He was overjoyed. Ellen was smiling.

 

“Better go shopping for those bookcases, Dean.” Dean grinned and nodded at her.

 

Dean started shopping for bookcases the very next day. The move was slow, simply because of all the books. As they filled the bookcases, Dean bought more. They were lining every wall of his living room except where the TV was, and they started putting bookcases in the bedroom.

 

“We need a bigger place.” Dean was worried that they really would have to put bookcases in the kitchen.

 

Cas looked concerned. “It’s almost all of them, Dean.”

 

Dean kissed Cas and made him smile. “It’s not that. I just think we need more room, silly.”

 

Dean began to look for a bigger place. What he really wanted was to buy a house. He’d been considering asking Cas to marry him and he was thinking about kids. He really wanted kids. But they had never discussed kids and Dean had no idea how Cas felt on the subject.

 

One day they were sitting together on the couch, just talking, and Dean brought up the subject of children.

 

“Cas, do you ever see yourself as a father? I mean, like adopting a kid?”

 

Cas broke out in a huge smile. “Oh yes, I think I’d love to have a child. It would give me an opportunity to do it right, you know? Not be like my mother.”

 

Dean was so relieved. “Yeah, me too! I’d love to have a couple of kids. I think it would be awesome.”

 

Dean found the exact right house. It was a five bedroom house with a huge back yard. It was older and needed some work, so it was in his price range.

 

He and Cas went to look at it. Cas walked around, staring at everything. Dean really liked it.

 

“So, Cas, what do you think? We could have the master bedroom, leave two of the bedrooms for kids and have a library in one bedroom and maybe a playroom in the other?”

 

Cas smiled broadly. “I love it, Dean. It has real character.”

 

Dean made an offer and it was accepted.

 

Dean did what repairs he could and then hired someone to do the rest. The house was really shaping up. He and Cas were very pleased.

 

About four months later, they were moving in. Dean bought some new furniture and so did Cas. They did the living room in warm, earthy colors and had a working fireplace that they were thrilled about. The one thing Dean wouldn’t replace was his bed.

 

“It’s memory foam. It remembers me.”

 

Cas just smiled and shook his head.

 

The library was Cas’. He got to decorate it and it had bookcases lining every wall. He was in heaven. There were so many bookcases, he didn’t have enough to fill them.

 

“I need to go shopping for books.”

 

Dean grinned and kissed him. “Let’s give it a few weeks, what do you say?”

 

Cas agreed to wait.

 

Cas was at his final therapy session. He almost cried on the way there.

 

“I need her! I’m not all better yet!”

 

Dean sighed. “You’re so much better, baby. Ellen wouldn’t tell you that you were done if you weren’t ready. And she’ll be there if you ever really need her.”

 

Cas just put on a bitchface.

 

But it went well and Cas came out smiling. Dean kissed him and said, “Ready to go home and start the rest of our lives together?”

 

Cas beamed and said yes.

 


	13. Chapter 13

Cas was much more comfortable cross dressing and they frequently went out with Cas dressed like a woman. Since it meant a night of awesome sex, Dean loved to do it often.

 

One night they were at a bar. Cas was wearing a sexy skirt and blouse combination that really looked good on him. 

 

They were nursing their drinks when a coworker of Dean’s came in. He walked up to Dean and said hello. Dean responded. The guy looked Cas up and down and said, “Who’s this sexy thing?”

 

Dean smiled and said, “This is my partner, Cas.”

 

The guy shook Cas’ hand and then whispered in Dean’s ear, “I thought you were gay, dude.”

 

Dean laughed and said, “I am. Cas is a guy.”

 

The coworker’s mouth dropped open. He stammered something unintelligible and went away.

 

Dean and Cas got a good laugh out of that.

  
  
  


The house was coming along really well. The kitchen was finally the way Dean wanted it and he cooked most nights for them. They loved to sit in front of the fireplace, and sometimes they had sex there, too. Their lives seemed perfect. 

 

Except for one thing … kids. Dean really wanted kids.

 

He had been thinking about this for awhile. He finally acted on it.

 

They were sitting in front of a roaring fire in the fireplace, making out. Dean pulled away and reached in his pocket. Cas was mystified as to what he was doing.

 

Dean looked at Cas. “Baby, I love you more than life itself. You’re everything I want in a life partner. So,” he showed Cas a small box. “Will you marry me?”

 

Cas was thunderstruck. He opened the box and took out the ring. His eyes filled with tears as he nodded furiously. 

 

“Yes! Oh, fuck yes, I’ll marry you!”

 

Cas fell on Dean and kissed him passionately. Dean spread his legs and Cas slotted between them. Still kissing, Cas ground his erection against Dean’s thigh and Dean groaned in approval. 

 

When he could, Dean gasped out, “So you love the ring, huh?’

 

Cas kissed him again and said, “Why yes, Mr. Winchester, I happen to adore it … and you.”

 

He went back to kissing and grinding against Dean’s leg.

 

Dean pulled away and moaned, “Too many clothes.”

 

Cas sat back on his heels and pulled Dean’s T-shirt over his head. He pulled his own off next. 

 

Then he unbuttoned and unzipped Dean’s pants. He pulled them down, with the assistance of Dean who lifted his ass. Then he stood up and took his own pants off.

 

He straddled Dean’s hips and kissed him, but then pulled away and spoke in a husky voice. “Turn over Dean. On your hands and knees.”

 

Dean flipped over and shoved his ass high in the air. 

 

Cas pulled Dean’s ass cheeks apart and shoved his face in. He licked over Dean’s hole as Dean began moaning.

 

“Oh fuck, Cas… good… it feels so good.”

 

Cas shoved his tongue into Dean and wiggled it, then he tongue-fucked Dean until Dean was begging.

 

“Cas… Cas please… I can’t take it anymore… please fuck me...please…”

 

Cas finally pulled his face away from Dean and shoved his cock into him. Dean groaned and pushed back to get every inch of Cas inside him.

 

Cas set a brutal pace. He held on to Dean’s hips and pulled him back against every thrust in. 

 

“Yeah, take it baby. You love my cock, don’t you? My big cock in your tight hole…”

 

Dean was gasping and moaning. “Oh yeah, Cas, I love your cock. Please, fuck me harder….”

 

Cas did just that. He snapped his hips into Dean, with his balls slapping Dean’s ass with every thrust in. He was close…

 

“Dean, I want you to come on my cock. Come…  _ now _ .”

 

Dean heard the command and he whimpered. He came hard, shooting strings of come onto the floor beneath him. Dean’s hole tightened around Cas’ cock like a vise. It threw Cas over too.

 

Cas came, groaning and filling Dean with his warm cum. He thrust through his orgasm and then a couple of times after it was over. Then he sighed and pulled out. Dean groaned at the emptiness.

 

They laid down on the blanket in front of the fireplace and caught their breath.

 

Dean smiled and kissed Cas. “I guess I should ask you to marry me every day if that’s the kind of reaction I’m gonna get.”

 

Cas just laughed and kissed him back.

 

They discussed what they wanted to do about a wedding. Neither of them wanted a big wedding and they didn’t want to get married in a church. So they decided to have a Justice of the Peace wedding. Then they tried to come up with a date.

 

It was summer, so they couldn’t decide if they wanted a fall or winter wedding. Cas knew Dean had a problem remembering dates (such as Cas’ birthday) so Cas wanted a date that Dean could easily remember.

 

They finally agreed to get married on Christmas Eve. It seemed romantic to both of them and that was a day that Dean couldn’t forget. They made an appointment with a Justice of the Peace, not wanting to leave it to chance.

 

Dean wanted a big party afterwards. He loved to dance and he wanted cake and presents. Cas laughed at him but Dean was adamant about it. They decided to rent the club where Cas performed because it was big enough to accommodate all their friends and it had a bar.

 

Dean couldn’t decide if he wanted a band or a DJ but they finally agreed to a DJ. That way, they could hear their favorite songs without finding a band that could play everything they liked.

 

It was fun to talk about it. They were both excited about the idea of getting married and they wanted it to be perfect. 

 

Cas contacted Ellen to tell her the good news. She was very happy for both of them and even told Cas to send her an invitation to the party. Cas assured her that he would.

 

As time passed, they made all the arrangements. It was all coming together.

 


	14. Chapter 14

The day was getting close. They bought suits and ties to match. The cake was ordered, the caterer was hired, the DJ too. The invitations sent out and almost everyone was coming to the party. They didn’t want to call it a reception; it was a party to celebrate their marriage.

 

Cas was planning a surprise for Dean. they had discussed the possibility of Cas wearing a wedding dress to get married in but decided against it. Cas didn’t want to be at the party in a dress and that would mean having someplace to change. It was just too much work.

 

They stood in front of the Justice of the Peace. Neither of them were really listening to what was being said. They were both just so happy and they were lost in their own thoughts. They both almost missed saying “I do.” But at last they heard, “I now pronounce you husband and husband. You may kiss.” The kiss was long and passionate. The Justice of the Peace had to clear his throat to break them up.

 

Then it was off to the party. Cas had all of his drag queen friends there and most were dressed as women, Dean had his co-workers there and a lot of them were hanging out with the drag queens. It was sort of humorous to watch.

 

The DJ announced their arrival and started the music that they had requested for their first dance. It was Here and Now by Luther Vandross.

 

Dean put his hands around Cas’ waist and Cas put his hands around Dean’s neck. They put their heads together and swayed to the music.

 

_ One look in your eyes and there I see _

_ Just what you mean to me _

_ Here in my heart I believe _

_ Your love is all I'll ever need _

_ Holdin' you close through the night _

_ I need you, yeah _

 

_ I look in your eyes and there I see _

_ What happiness really means _

_ The love that we share makes life so sweet _

_ Together we'll always be _

_ This pledge of love feels so right _

_ And, ooh, I need you _

 

_ Here and now _

_ I promise to love faithfully (Faithfully) _

_ You're all I need _

_ Here and now _

_ I vow to be one with thee (You and me), hey _

_ Your love is all (I need) I need _

 

_ Say, yeah, yeah... _

 

_ When I look in your eyes, there I'll see _

_ All that a love should really be _

_ And I need you more and more each day _

_ Nothin' can take your love away _

_ More than I dare to dream _

_ I need you _

 

_ Here and now _

_ I promise to love faithfully (Faithfully) _

_ You're all I need _

_ Here and now _

_ I vow to be one with thee (You and me), yeah _

_ Your love is all I need _

 

_ (Starting here) Ooh, and I'm starting now _

_ I believe (I believe in love), I believe _

_ (Starting here) I'm starting right here _

_ (Starting now) Right now because I believe in your love _

_ So I'm glad to take the vow _

 

_ Here and now, oh _

_ I promise to love faithfully (Faithfully) _

_ You're all I need _

_ Here and now, yeah _

_ I vow to be one with thee (You and me), yeah _

_ Your love is all I need _

 

_ I, hey...yeah...yeah...hey... _

_ Uh, hey... _

_ I-I, love is all I need _

_ Ooh...ooh...yeah... _

_ Yeah...yeah...hey...yeah...yeah... _

_ Love is all I need _

_ Ooh...ooh... _

_ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah _

 

They kissed long and passionately when the song ended. Everyone applauded and cheered.

  
  


The party was perfect. When they cut the cake, Cas put some frosting on Dean’s nose and Dean put frosting on Cas’ whole face. The DJ played the music that they had chosen and everyone danced, mechanics with drag queens usually. Finally, it was time to go home. Cas and Dean said their goodbyes and told everyone to party more.

  
  


At home, Dean grabbed Cas and said in a deep growl. “Come on, husband, make love to me.”

 

They went to the bedroom and Cas let Dean take off his clothes first. Then Cas began to strip. He took off his jacket and tie slowly. He unbuttoned his shirt and let it fall from his shoulders. Dean laid on the bed and watched him with lust in his eyes.

 

When Cas unbuttoned and unzipped his pants, he pulled them down slowly. Underneath, he revealed the garter belt, lacy panties and stockings he had on underneath his pants.

 

Dean huffed in a breath. Cas looked so sexy it made his cock spring to life immediately. 

 

Cas walked to the bed and smiled. Dean pulled him down on top of him. He kissed Cas deeply and Cas shoved his tongue into Dean’s open mouth.

 

Dean’s hands grabbed Cas’ ass. He pulled away from the kiss and laid Cas down on the bed. He moved down to the garter belt. He found the hooks and opened them, letting the garter belt fall to the bed. He undid the clasps that held Cas’ stockings.

 

He kissed Cas’ cock through the panties. Cas moaned in response. Dean sucked on Cas’ cock until it was so hard that the head of it forced it’s way through the waistband. Dean licked over it. The panties were soaked, both from Dean’s mouth and Cas’ pre-cum.

 

Cas growled, “Enough!” and pushed Dean down on the bed. He pulled his panties down and off. Dean spread his legs and lifted them to give Cas access to his hole. Cas fingered his hole just a little, then lubed up and pressed the head of his cock into Dean.

 

Dean bucked up and tried to push against Cas’ cock to get more of it into him. But Cas just pushed in about three inches and pulled back out, He did this over and over, while he fisted his cock.

 

He used his other hand to fist Dean’s cock. Dean was moaning loudly and whimpering, Cas kept it up until Dean came, groaning, all over his belly and chest. Cas moaned as he came inside Dean. He pulled out and collapsed next to Dean.

 

“Been wanting to do that for awhile…”

 


	15. Chapter 15

Cas was crying as Dean put the blanket wrapped, baby girl in his arms.

 

“Cas, meet our daughter.”

 

Cas looked at Dean and then back at Hannah.

 

“Dean I don’t know if I’m ready…”

 

Dean smiled at his husband. “Oh baby, you are. You’re going to be a great father!”

 

They had found a surrogate to carry their baby. Dean had used his sperm, so they would have a child that was at least partly theirs in reality. 

 

Two years later they adopted Seth. When he was introduced to Hannah, Cas told him about being a big brother. Seth smiled brightly when Hannah toddled over to him and gave him a big hug.

 

They had everything they wanted in life. They had a son, a daughter and a nice house. Cas had quit performing in order to devote more time to the family. He still cross dressed for Dean. 

 

Most of all, they had each other. Love filled their home and it was good. It was as good as it could be.

 


End file.
